It heard the alarm...

This post is for the lot of you who are still asleep about what is and what is not. Truth is sometimes simple and rough and unchangeable. Sometimes. If after watching what's in the following link and are not convinced of modern slavery, no matter your status in life, then maybe you should watch more of your beloved television. The movie starts a bit slow, but don't allow yourself to be distracted. Recommended for anyone who needs to wake up.

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/ (make sure to click on Zeitgeist: The Movie first. Addendum is the second movie.)

Can't say we were not warned.
...J

It awoke before dawn, sighs and signs. The sky was an unrestful purple, the result of red eyes and blue skies.

Been a minute since I checked in here. Hello.

A long time ago, I asked God why there has to be so much pain in my life and in the world as we know it. I did receive an answer. Rather quickly.

One of my long-standing favorite bands is Alice In Chains. They have been through hell and somehow still exist to sing about it. The original singer, Layne Staley, died of a heroin/cocaine overdose on April 20th, 2002. He weighed 86 pounds. The last few months of his life are among the most horrifying and sad things I've ever heard or experienced. In my opinion, Layne was one of the best singers that ever lived, so far. I cannot rock out to the band like I used to. That particular transference is over. For almost 8 years I've been haunted with terrible truth; Layne will not sing another song. The music to me now is a ghost.

I just finished a You Tube session with AIC. Couldn't help but cry. Serious weeping. A smile on my face, but pain nonetheless. Pure and universally connected pain. I defy fucking anyone to listen to Nutshell (AIC ep 'Jar of Flies') an not feel it. I dare you. This pain is something that can be plugged into just as easily as happiness or fear or any other of our emotions, given the right outlet.

Here's a link to AIC's MTV Unplugged version of Nutshell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3px0m1Y9Tuc&feature=related

If after watching this and not having known AIC, I'd like you to comment on what this video did for you, if anything at all. For me, I can't view this stuff more than maybe once a year. It just tears me up. The smile and the sadness.

The answer God gave me was something like this: "It exists because it is an example and motivator for others to use as a platform for brighter things, no matter how small". That's the best way I can describe it.

To each his own, eh.

Maybe I'm just too damn susceptible to these emotion tides because I'm seeing life in it's final phase(s) all around me. Right now. My grandmother is in the back room, bedridden with bad health and dementia and my grandfather is in a nursing home battling a nasty spot of pneumonia, wears a catheter and cannot walk anymore. Both of them are fed thru tubes in their stomachs. Both of them love me very much and both of them wish to die, so the pain will go away.

In about an hour, I'll be in the back bedroom with mother, changing my grandmother's diaper and rolling her to her other side, as to not collect bed sores. I do this with a smile and dreadful emotional pain. I know if I drink a few beers, the pain'll go away.

Some of you may understand. Some of you will not.

I just recently regianed some form of composure in my life and fully intend to inject this current state of emotion disturbance directly into a new short movie project. A long overdue one, concerning poet and good friend John Edward Lawson. It's the only way I know that may have curative value over this wailing hell.

Thank you for listening...J

The Origin of Energy

"It scratched It's hoary goat, gathering muse from some long ago chant in The Ruins."

Hello again.

As of late I've been asking myself what it is that drives me to create and/or to dive in to a fat plate (loco plato!) of someone else's fine works. One of the greatest cinematic movements I've ever experienced is W.P. Blatty's 'The Ninth Configuration', based on his book Twinkle, Twinkle Killer Kane. Short book, big punch. The film (and book) deals directly with existentialism, belief, sacrifice, redemption... and the most controversial word of all time: God. Not to be a dull or irritating proponent of this work, but this movie did change my life. I have carried with me for many years it's beautifully crafted impact and, as a filmmaker, I can only push myself to build something as inspired and moving. This is certainly, for myself, to be considered one of the moving forces in my life. An energy. The word that comes to mind is inertia. My sensibilities were, and are, directly influenced and changed by the energy of this film. Is it transference? If so, once I have created something on my own, is the new work to be considered something new? Not to say this movie was the only Thing that made a difference in my life. Far from it. I'm just using it as an example I can readily use. If you ask any musician, professional or not, what their influences are, you'll get a long, detailed list of musical artists that preceded them and a few of their contemporaries. Same question. Is it transference? Is there anything new under the sun? I believe the answer is yes. And no. Had I been locked in a room, with absolutely no outside stimuli, for all those years before I created anything, would I have been able to make something new, fresh and inventive? Something to be considered referenceless? Would instinct and genetic makeup have driven a new song or visual movement into existence? I do not know. I know I'm sensually attracted to the vibrance and sheer vitality of artists who do not reflect the work of others. Of one of the creative souls I've had the pleasure of working with is Jeremy Shipp. We were actually long distance, electronic friends before we collaborated on a strange and beautiful Thing called Egg. This is not to imply that the other artists I have worked with are of lesser value. Banish the thought! Every single project I've worked on (of my choosing) has in some way or another lit me up like a fucking pinball machine. The first time I read the Egg script, something went terribly awry with my brain for about 10 minutes. I got up from the computer and went outside and smoked and paced and smiled. The thoughts of what could be done with with this story, in a cinematic way, were racing and tumbling at blinding speed. Soooo many possibilities! I was, after all those years of training, discovery, disappointment(s), fascination and minor successes, given a chance to do something original in a cinematic way. And I did not create the story. So on a sub-level of the topic of the origin of energy, I pose myself this: What part did the filmmaking process play in the universal mechanics of the existence Egg? It is, after all, a product and it had to come from somewhere. The written words and story came from a quiet, humble genius named Shipp. The movie, a long, involved and intricate parlay among several artists and disciplines. Hmm. I think the actors are responsible for for the physical character portrayals, the camera guy for the cam movement and angles, the sound department for proper audio, etc., but I think ultimately, the origin of energy for Egg, no matter what happens to the written words (simple readings or on to film), comes from the writer. Why? Because it can stand alone as a written story, no matter of it becoming a movie or not. And this is only one example among a googol.

So, how many of our experiences on the Earth are linked to the past?

Everything.

We are simple mirrors with a prismatic affect.

In case anyone is interested in Egg or Jeremy Shipp:

http://www.myspace.com/jeremywriter
http://www.myspace.com/eggfilm

Here is the trailer for Egg:

Here's a few pix from Egg:

This is a link to a 10 minute clip from The Ninth Configuration:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js5q8JZ1zcw&feature=related
...the whole movie has been uploaded there on You Tube, and this is segment 2. Writer/director Blatty has a small role in the film as Fromme, one of the asylum's patients. He can be seen in segment 2 as the 'doctor' telling Stacy Keach to 'follow the yellow brick road'. Most people know Blatty as an author and Oscar-winning screewriter of The Exorcist. Here at this link ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itB1iFU-8Xk&feature=related ) you will find Blatty discussing the links between The Exorcist, The Ninth Configuration and Legion (Exorcist III), all of which he wrote and produced, the latter2 directing. Fascinating stuff!

WOTD:
GLARTCH: (v)\ one of many sounds made during a violent session of vomiting.

And so it begins...

'It arranged the meat on It's face to resemble something of a smile. One might call it a wince...or perhaps a grimace. It opened it's eyes and, now fully awake, resolved to reveal Itself to The World."



Well here it is folks, the beginning of my very own blog. I've been thinking about doing this for a while now and just what I'd have to say about Things in general and on the artistic side. Come to realize, I do have a lot to say about some beautiful, cool and artsy stuff and an array of Things that really piss me off or I find simply a bit unnerving. And there's always room for that contemplative grey area...the realm of quiet observation. Even though I consider this to be a journal of sorts, I look forward to meeting and conversing with others of similar psychosis.

Hat's off to KEK-W ( http://kidshirt.blogspot.com/ ) over in Yeovil, England for inspiration to initiate this nutty Thing. If anyone has a love or curiosity about some really cool and obscure 70's/80's movies, music, people and literature, please visit his page. Definitely some cool stuff there and a damn good vibe in a universal kind of way.

Today's entry should, I suppose, be something of current value. I just recently re-edited a music video I did for a local band, American Lab Rat. This is the band that lent me a song for a scene in the short film Party Girl (more on that later). The guitarist and singer had prompted me to do this months ago, but I had too much on my plate at the time. Well, they finally tied me up, rolled me out into the Common Square and flogged me until I promised to tie-in the Party Girl stuff in the video. So here it is, after many hours editing and licking my wounds:

If you have a hankering for this type brutality and truth, visit their MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/americanlabrat Guaranteed abuse for all!

Here I would like to cap-off with a New Word for the Day:

CONFLUSTERATION\ken-flustir-A-shun\conflusterate (vb): a mental or emotional state of confusion, fluster and frustration.

...and so ends my first entry! But not to worry, I'll be back rattling my cage soon enough.

J